Talk About Pressure

I had a pretty rough morning today because the team was announced for Game 1 vs. Japan and my name wasn't on it. I always say it's therapeutic to write my thoughts out in times like these so you may have to bare with me as I am on a bit of a roller coaster right now. Sixteen players get announced to play with two being asked to warm up but not dress, in case there are any injuries in the warm-up.

Last December I had a chat with both my coaches about my performance at the Commonwealth Games in October 2010. They weren't entirely satisfied with it but then again, neither was I. I felt very determined to prioritize my physiology and work on the little details to become comfortable in my position. Ultimately, I already believed that I understood the game quite well but my physiology was letting me down. When I had my MRI on my shoulder and found out that all the pain I was having for the past year was due to an actual tear, I had another defining moment in my career. After discussing it with coaches and doctors we decided that the time frame to get the surgery was tight (5-6 months) but would give me the best chance to be healthy at Pan Ams. If I didn't get the surgery I would risk playing in even more pain that I was already in.

We decided to go ahead with the surgery guaranteeing about 5 months away from hockey but only about 1 month away from physical training. I stuck to protocol like glue and although I was upset that I wasn't going to be with the team...somehow it, and it always does, worked out. I was able to finish school and graduate from University and I had some time to think about my commitment to the team and how much harder I wanted to fight to come back with no regrets. I was ahead of schedule, by surprise, and was released to start training right before we left for Vienna for the Champions Challenge. I of course was only going as a video tech but I also had planned a 2.5 week holiday after not knowing that I was able to play.

That may or may not be something that will have hurt my career from today's standpoint. I lost a lot of my hard work and physiological rehab in those 2.5 weeks but at the same time I had my eyes opened on the other side of the world. I had a chance to really clear my mind, think about what I wanted in life and actually feel like a normal person enjoying a vacation. No regrets from that standpoint, actually.

Either way, I never really truly consider myself "coming back" until about the first week of June. So, it's been almost two months and I've gotten games in left, right and center including a tonne at Senior nationals, the Training camp right after, the first and second 4-Nations... and now... The Japan Series.

So, the reason for the heading "Talk About Pressure" is because today when my name wasn't on the starting 16 for the game everything I just wrote about began popping into my head. Should I not have got the surgery? I spent too long away from the game. Maybe I never should have gone to Europe in the first place. Along time ago I wrote about internal and external conflict resolvers and I"m an internal one. So, I take everything on board and I reflect but the problems with that is you begin to doubt yourself. Times like these you have to be mentally sharp but I think I need the next few hours to doubt myself and then the rest of the time ahead of me to pick myself up and move forward.

Whether I continue with the team in their goal to reach a medal at the Pan Ams or not, I know something great is around the corner. I've for sure realized that life is a roller coaster and although I am so focused on field hockey right now, I know that whatever happens, something positive will come of it. It may not be clear to me now but I know something will. In the end, all of my experiences as an athlete, injured or otherwise, is going to help me moving forward. It will make me tougher and I truly believe that some of the toughest moments in my life ahead, I will be able to face thanks to these kinds of moments.

You can be your weakest or strongest in moments like this. You can rise up to the pressure or you can fall. I can define my own path from here and that's what needs to happen. I read a great quote the other day after we lost to Chile that sort of applies to my "failure" for today:

"You may have a fresh start any moment you choose. For this thing we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down"


And I'm a big visual person and I love photos. So, to cheer myself up here are some of the fun, happy moments I can remember and feed off of :

2008 - Vikes win CIS Championships on home turf

2009 Christmas - I get LEO!

2005 - Canada Summer Games Champions

2004 - St. Margaret's graduating field hockey players

Can Fund's London Calling

On Wednesday, July 27th one of my biggest sponsors, The Canadian Athletes Now Fund (or CAN FUND) will be hosting their One Year Countdown Bash at 7:30pm! This event is the countdown to the 2012 Olympic Games being held in London, England.

When: Wednesday, July 27th, 2011 (7:30pm - 2:00am)
Where: "The Fifth" 225 Richmond Street West, Toronto, Ontario
Tickets: $150 (w/ $90 tax receipt)

This event is going to be amazing because it will have some current and previous Canadian Olympians and Olympic hopefuls! It will also feature "The Bloody Royals" red carpet, a British inspired food station set-up, an "Oh Behave" Austin Powers lounge, a 007 James Bond Lounge, Bridget Jones Wine Bar, a silent auction and much more! I do wish that I could go to the event myself but we are currently preparing for our series against Japan and will be in the middle of it once the event kicks off. The money raised from the ticket sales goes directly to athletes like me trying to get to London 2012! So, make sure that if you are in town and available to go - you go! If not, purchase a ticket for a good cause :) Can Fund truly makes a difference to athletes like myself and for teams like the National Women's Field Hockey Team. So, do your part and here's how to order tickets:

Call: +1-416-487-4442 or click on the image above to be directed to the website HERE. 

Our team really wanted to be there but obviously being on the west coast can't exactly miss our games against Japan or afford to fly out. Instead, we made a video that will be played at the event and because I'm the crafty producer behind the scenes you can have a sneak peak at the video ONLY seen here :

London Calling from Ali Lee on Vimeo.

Bronze at the 4-Nation Classic

I was reunited with the National team this week for the second phase of the 4-Nation Classic. This phase included an actual round robin and medal round of games and involved Japan, Chile, Trinidad & Tobago, as well as Canada. It was a great feeling to be selected back on to the "real team" but I realized that I have a lot of work to do still! If I get chosen to go Pan American Games, I suppose it will be on the hunch that I still have 2.5 more months to get my physicality up to speed. This includes strength, fitness, footwork and mobility in yes both my shoulder and the rest of my body.

G1: Canada vs Japan (0-3 Loss)
This was my first cap since October 2010 at the Commonwealth Games where we lost to India to come 6th. I finally stitched up the gap between caps and earned my 37th cap. I even started the game! One of the starting defenders is injured right now (or resting?) so, I started but that was short-lived. The speed of the Japanese attack really overwhelmed me physically. I was also back to my old position of Left D and the outside defenders do a lot of running to come into the middle of the field when the ball is on the other side of the field but high and out to the line when the ball might come up my side. Anyway, it was a good way to show me that I need to continue with the fitness! We lost 3-0 but we gave a GREAT effort and even put immense pressure on them in the first 10 minutes!

G2: Canada vs Trinidad & Tobago (4-0 Win)
Having seen Chile beat T&T 11-0 the day before and Japan beat them 14-0, we knew that this game was going to be a different and more un-orthodox style of play. It was definitely a challenge to play a more unstructured team and we didn't take them for granted at all. We just played our game and although we missed many opportunities and only scored 4, we still got the 3 points to move forward and that's what really matters. Personally, I feel like each game I got a bit better and in this game I part-took a bit more offensively which has been a goal for me coming back. I don't want to be just the stay at home defender.

G3: Canada vs Chile (0-5 Loss)
Most girls on the team don't really want to comment on this game because we knew we had to win this one to get into the Finals against Japan. Ultimately, it was our biggest loss in a long time and I mean that in the scoreline and just mentally. It was a rough loss but again, personally, I feel like I was still improving on my play. I think we had a lot break down in this game and mostly it was due to our basic skills and our field hockey abilities. Mentally we were charged up to play and physically I thought we had a great warm-up. That's the challenge with elite sports, I suppose.

G4: Canada vs T&T for Bronze (6-1 Win)
We got the job done today since losing a really tough game the day before. Moving on mentally was quite a challenge but luckily we have a lot of strategies from our team psychologist, Dr. Sean Richardson! We bounced back to win and although we let a loose goal in, I think that the team still got it done and we got third place.

We had a lot of great photographers out at the games and I thought I would share a few action shots of me finally back in the real uniform sporting, of course, #5:

Lastly just a shout out to my sponsors who have been so supportive through my recovery and getting me the support I needed to afford the rehab procedures after my surgery:

www.akprocanada.com

www.pennwest.com

www.mycanfund.ca

Hunters, Hunt and Gatherers, Gather... For the W!

Today was the last match of the first of two 4-Nations tournaments occurring this month. My team, the "developmental Canada A" team served as the 4th "nation" for the tournament. I am so proud of the girls and our team because we sure made it a competition and no game against us was an easy walk over. Today we played against Trinidad & Tobago and won 1-0. It was our first win of the tournament and although the scoreline wasn't close to Chile (11-0) and Canada (6-0), a win is a win.

Our brilliant coach, John, used this one analogy all week long that I think is brilliant. He said, "We are hunters and gatherers. The hunters hunt the ball and the gatherers are ready to gather." It became a bit of a theme that we need to be relentless to hunt the ball and everyone else steps in front (gathers the ball) and we look to counter attack ALL TOGETHER. With the speed of some of those kids up front, we really were quite an offensive threat.

Our inexperience in our backfield did lead to several unforced turnovers in our outletting and delivering up the field but it was definitely a good experience to feel that kind of pressure when trying to outlet. Ultimately, no body wants to be under pressure so this was a great opportunity to practice in "mean nothing" games.

What happens now? The next real 4-Nations begins with Japan coming in to replace our team. ONE Canada team will be chosen with 18 athletes and that team will compete. There will be a gold medal and bronze medal game and a winner and loser. So, all the marbles are on the table and this is great preparation for Pan Ams. Now, I don't know where I fit in with the "real" team but whatever happens, I am very proud of the team I competed with and for. We did a great job and I have no regrets... Okay, maybe one - that fourth goal that I gave Chile BUT other than that... It was a great week. Whether I get picked up for the team or not, I learned a lot this week and more than anything I am appreciative that I got to play much earlier than expected after surgery.

Having said THAT, my back totally seized up today. I'm the "old lady" on the team so I guess it was bound to happen. I am hoping a day of rest will help it! Three 70 minute full games in four days is rough on the body when you have been out of game shape for 6 months!

Side note - Canada played Chile after our game and my team mate, Steph Jameson received her 150th  CAP. She has played 150 matches !! That is an incredible milestone for her and I am so proud to be her team mate. She is an inspiration to so many and really is a great friend and team mate. So, I hope to be on the field sharing her 151st CAP but who knows!! Only time will tell...

Serving Notice

Yesterday, we played the "real" Canada team and it was the typical "A" vs "B" team style game. It felt like a lot of people were rooting for the under dogs and it was a really fun game! The rain continued to poor down on us but I didn't even notice. The game was back and forth with a lot of action. The young kids on my team didn't worry about having to prove anything. They simply went out and played. It was awesome to have that reminder that the kids have this sense of naiveness that carries over and reminds you to just PLAY. It is, afterall, a game. We had a few defensive and structural slip ups that led to the other team's 3 goals but all considering, when they scored, we bounced back. When things looked rough we supported each other positively and didn't go against each other. It was a great feeling to be on a team that just went forward together, back together and rode the wave all together. There was no pointing fingers. A goal was scored against us, we shook it off and charged back to the other end!

It was an amazing feeling to just "serve notice" to that team. Look at the talent in the youth coming up behind. I know there is one thing that I always said before, when I was on the team, that I always felt like every day was a test and I needed to pass to keep my spot. Since being off the field, I've learned that is the key to challenging and pushing yourself. You can never get complacent.

Anyway, we lost 2 games in this series but it sure feels like we won out there on the field yesterday. We are getting better and if we had a few more games I think we really could pull off more W's. I think this experience has been truly valuable so far. Not only have I learned a bit more about structure in the sense of being the sweeper, how to distribute and how to communicate to those in front but I have also had opportunities to grow as a leader, as a player and as a team mate. This team has reminded me that "team" needs to come FIRST not your own ego, your own skill level or how good you think you are. If each person on the team puts the rest of the team first, amazing things can happen!

I'm so proud of this bunch of girls and happy to be along side them. I am learning a lot from them. I hope that we continue to move forward as we take on Trinidad & Tobago on Monday morning at 4pm at UBC!

Check out the highlight videos:

 

Set yourself on Fire!

Today I was back in action in a Team Canada uniform since my last game at the Commonwealth Games against India back in October. The "first game jitters" are finally over and I can start to sink back into the game that I've dedicates so much energy towards improving at. It's really exciting to be competing at this level again and despite playing for the development team, it's going to be a learning curve that only goes upwards. I'm happy with how the girls played today and me being my own worst credit found A LOT to improve on my own game. Having said that.... first game back, have to get my touches on and get back into physical shape. This is the best way to do it!

Chile was able to capitalize on some pour defensive skills and turnovers on our part in our 25 early in the game. They quickly went up 2-0. After that though, we settled down and our greatest strength is the speed in our front line. They earned us a corner and Sara McManus was able to capitalize by striking the ball low and hard inside the far post. It was a great goal for her and a good start for our team to get on the board. The score at half time was 2-1 for Chile.

Second half we came out pretty good but a series of pour mistakes, some on my part, gave them short corners and they capitalized on a mid-height drag flick far side. I don't want to talk about the 4th goal because it was 200% chance my fault... I gave the ball away and still had another chance to save it and missed. Oh well. Part of the game, I suppose... I just really paid the price. We did score a beauty by Marian Dickinson to put the game at 3-2 and then that give away I had put them up 4-2 for the final score. Great learning experience, especially for me...

I read this awesome quote this morning that I told the girls in the opening huddle and it went like this:

"Success is not a result of spontaneous combustion. You have to set yourself on fire."

So, we did set ourselves on fire. We definitely competed and that was #1 on the game plan! So, I am proud of the girls. We take on the "real" Canada team tomorrow so it should be interesting...

Can't wait to get more games in, though :D

Game day photos courtesy of Yan Huckendubler:

Making the Come Back

It's been a few days since I have updated my blog but mostly it's because back training means hockey, hockey, hockey non-stop! Since that beautiful ferry day we have had at least a practice every day and then other work outs on the side. For starters, I ran the beep test last Thursday and made my standard to be able to play in the 4-Nations Classic. Not only is it like getting 100lbs of weight lifted off your shoulder but it also means that I'll be suiting for Canada for the first time since October 2010. It feels amazing to know that I will finally get to put that Team Canada uniform on again. I'll tell you, there is no other feeling quite like putting on a Canadian jersey knowing that it belongs to you. If there's one thing I have learned in all this time off it's that you need to take pride in the shirt that you are wearing and the maple leaf on your chest. It's really tough being on the sidelines and given the chance to make a difference on the field, you can not take that for granted.

Moving forward, the 4-Nations Classic Tournament runs from July 15-24th in Vancouver and will be followed by a 3-Test series against Japan that takes us to July 30th. Here is how it is mapped out:

July 15-18th : Canada, Canada "A", Trinidad & Tobago, Chile (Round Robin - 3 games each)
July 18-24th: Canada, Trinidad & Tobago, Chile, Japan (Round Robin plus 1v2 and 3v4 for medals)
July 24-30th: Canada vs Japan (3-Test Series)

It is going to be a very exciting month for Field Hockey Canada and Vancouver. Hosting this many games is not only a way to draw more support but to also show everyone at home how hard Canada has been working at climbing the ladder. The performance at the Champions Challenge II (placing 7th, a lot lower than ranked) actually moved the women's team down from 19th to 20th in the world. So, we need to work really hard to bring ourselves back up.

Having said that, I'm actually only on the squad now since being away from injury and coming back guarantees you only to be considered for a spot. No problem there. I'm really to work to get a spot back on the team and as I said in an old post - I never think my spot is secure. I think in order to make yourself a better player and athlete you have to feel someone leaning on you from behind trying to take your spot at all times. Just because you are on the starting 11 does not mean your spot is guaranteed, ever. I think if you can remember that then you will go far in whatever sport you are in. Take nothing for granted.

So, in the July 15-18th series I will be competing for Canada "A" which is not the "A" team but actually a development team. There are some very talented kids on the team that were picked up after Senior Nationals last week in Victoria. It's an exciting group that is definitely very fresh and new. Today, our head coach, John De Souza, of U of T, flew in to join our assistant, Krista Thompson, of UVic. Having full staff today was like a breathe of fresh air. It is definitely a change from getting coached by the National team head coaches and like I said - it's like a breathe of fresh air. It may all be the same tactics and strategies but a new way of learning is so awesome! It's so exciting!

It's going to be an excellent month of hockey and hopefully if I do well in the development team games I'll be able to make my way back to the top 18 to play in the remainder of the 4-Nations and the Japan series!

I'm very excited to have the potential to join the regulars on the pitch because Pan Ams is just around the corner and I am itching to get on the pitch and help us medal there! I still have A LOT to work on but my spirit is there and I've learned a lot in the months off.

I got some photos sent to me from Neil Hodge from the Senior National tournament I thought I would share with you:

  

I also was sent this video today which I have to show you because I absolutely love that it combines my ultime fav celeb (JT) and sports, in particular the three field hockey cameos: